One of Life’s greatest questions has always been: Who am I?
In Oprah’s Next Chapter Interviews she asks a couple of key questions. One of which is who are you (here)?
However, sometimes the questions are more important than the answers.
As so elegantly put by the writer Lewis Carroll, the self is a mystery. We do not directly perceive or know the self; instead we (with the help of others around us) build up a body of beliefs about it.
For most individuals, self-discovery is an integral part of everyday life. We learn about ourselves through the choices we make, the interactions we have with others, the successes we achieve and the failures we suffer through.
Introspection, self-knowledge, and self-discovery are generally considered good for oneself. We discover different facets of ourselves through the emotions we feel, the praise or criticisms we receive from others and the reactions we have to the different events that occur in our lives. With each piece of self-knowledge that we garner, we learn more about ourselves and come closer to defining who we are.
But, believe it or not, most of us aren’t interested in becoming more aware or conscious about what’s truly compelling us to make our choices and buy what we buy.
This is because we are afraid that we would find out things we don’t want to know or we’d have to give up doing what we believe brings us huge comfort. So we don’t want to know what we don’t know.
There is a fundamental chasm in our understanding of ourselves, the universe, and everything.
Having noted this interest in self-discovery, firms have blanketed the marketplace with products and services aimed at helping individuals better understand and define the self. These self-discovery products and services range widely.
Even products that are not explicitly aimed at self-discovery often have a self-discovery component to them. For example, many popular movies and books such as Under the Tuscan Sun, Good Will Hunting and Eat, Pray, Love glorify the process of self-discovery and acceptance.
“Who in the World Am I? Ah, that’s the Great Puzzle”
And, from a logical standpoint, this drive towards self-discovery makes sense – the more clearly we understand ourselves, the more likely we are to make appropriate decisions about what job to take, who to marry, what goals to pursue and so on.
It is easy to forget that our country is founded on a moral promise, specifically the rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The Founders did not promise happiness itself — only its pursuit — leaving it to us to define happiness in any way we see fit. This is the promise of self-realization.
In Julia’s story, as depicted in a cartoon slideshow, a faceless young American woman grows from birth to old age with the government at her side every step of the way. In the good times and the bad times, government is there to lift Julia up — and without government, Julia could not succeed in life.
But, this is not the Julia I know.
Despite reluctance by many to weave morality into politics, numerous public policy arguments have succeeded because their advocates made a compelling moral case.
Understanding our preferences and proclivities can save us valuable resources – if we recognize and appreciate our own personalities, we won’t waste money on “spring” make-up colors when we’re unmistakably a “winter” nor will we squander precious self-control resources on the Atkins diet when our specific body type would respond best to the Zone diet.
All of US reach a point somewhere between infancy and young adulthood when we take a step toward independence by caring for ourselves for a period of time when no adult is present. Family decisions to allow their children to care for themselves vary widely, depending among other things on the family’s view of the risks associated with self-care, the child’s readiness for self-care, the circumstances in which the child will care for himself or herself, and the resources available to provide adult supervision.
The real point of being alive is to evolve into the person you were meant to be.
Our quest for control is neither a fault nor a mistake. We are innocently following in our elders’ footsteps, which were based in fear. They believed that children don’t mature into capable adults unless their parents shape them. They took upon themselves the rather godly role of turning babies and children into adults. Parenting is much simpler when we realize that children come here already designed to bloom in their own unique ways. Nature/ God doesn’t Goof; it is not our job to turn an infant into an adult human over 20 years. It is our responsibility and privilege to care and nurture a human being while they grow.
Parenting is a path of maturation and growth if we dare to learn more and teach less.
Starting the process looks like being kind to yourself, and being curious about why you don’t want to know. And telling the truth about what you find out.
So Who Am I? I Am Julia.
Live and Learn. We All Do.
Thanks for reading. Please share 🙂
Please don’t forget to leave a comment.
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