True to his name – my third little baby was a surprise from the moment we found out we were expecting him.
With two, high energy, opinionated and strong willed children my husband and I silently and I think mentally agreed that we couldn’t take any more stress. With the pressure to keep “girls off the pole and boys out of prison” as Chris Rock says. Along, with the increased cost to keep your kids educated in the arts and healthy; we were tearing at the seams. This also didn’t take into consideration the normal unexpected challenges of sickness and death that Life throws us along the way.
But, on Valentine’s Day 2011 I confirmed not once but twice I was pregnant.
It was a turning point in our lives. We went through the pregnancy handling every unexpected obstacle you could imagine. I struggled managing to get insurance to have a baby – I honestly don’t know why it’s gotten so expensive to have children? My original doctor didn’t accept my new insurance – the new doctor messed up my due date – 5 ultra sounds told me I was to expect a little girl.
So that’s what I started to do. I tried to mentally piece my life together about what I would name her and how her and my daughter would grow up together. I went out and bought all pink and internally I freaked because one girl for me was challenge enough.
The funny thing is looking back, there was this repeated message that was sent to me over and over again, throughout my pregnancy and I guess I just didn’t want to listen.
Even as we were shopping the night before the baby was born; looking for a new car seat and all the other stuff I had to replace because I thought I was done; my husband looked at me and said “what if when you deliver, it’s a boy?”
“I don’t know” I said, but we had 5 ultrasounds so let’s just accept it’s a girl.”
So on October 22, 2011 I gave birth to a baby boy. Yes, we were shocked! And, maybe in hindsight I guess I should have listened.
But it didn’t matter, he was perfect in every way. I couldn’t imagine it any other way. Sometimes, I joke that he’s my favorite – but the truth is that I don’t love him more or less than the other two – I’m just capable to love him differently. And as odd as that sounds part of that is because I know how to love myself differently.
With the first baby comes all these insecurities and worries and by the third baby you embrace that there is no perfection in parenthood – and I’m not perfect.
I’ve come to realize that the Greatest Love of All is accepting that our children know the way better than we do. It’s their way – It’s their Life. Your just privileged to share the journey with them for a short time.
So, to my little Prince, may you dance as if no one were watching, sing as if no one were listening, Love as if you’ve never been hurt, and Live every day as if it were your last.
And, like I said before, Live and Learn. We all do.