No Two Brains Are The Same

Every scientist will tell you that no two brains are the same and every parent with two or more children will confirm that claim.

Live and Learn.  We All Do.

Thanks for stopping by. Please share🙂

Please don’t forget to leave a comment. 


Posted in Education, Uncategorized, World | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Thinking Will Not Overcome Fear But Action Will.

You can choose what you want to see. You can filter your life with rose-colored beliefs that will help your body grow or you can use a dark filter that turns everything black and makes your body/mind more susceptible to disease. You can live a life of fear or you can live a life of love. You have the choice!


If you choose to see a world full of love, your body will respond by growing in health. If you choose to believe that you live in a dark world full of fear, your body’s health will be compromised as you physiologically close yourself down in a protection response.

Learning how to harness your mind to promote growth is the secret of life!

Positive thoughts are a biological mandate for a happy, healthy life.

In the words of Mahatma Gandhi:

Your beliefs become your thoughts

Your thoughts become your words

Your words become your actions

Your actions become your habits

Your habits become your values

Your values become your destiny

When we change the way we perceive the world, when we “change our beliefs,” we change the blood’s neurochemical composition, which then initiates a complementary change in the body’s cells.

Research has confirmed that brain cells translate the mind’s perceptions (beliefs) of the world into complementary and unique chemical profiles that, when secreted into the blood, control the fate of the body’s 50 trillion cells. So blood, not only nourishes cells, its neurochemical components also regulate cells’ genetic and behavioral activity.

What fears are stunting your growth? Where did these fears come from? Are they necessary? Are they real? Are they contributing to a full life?   If we can control our fears, we can regain control over our lives.

Here is my challenge to you. Let go of unfounded fears and take care not to implant unnecessary fears and limiting beliefs on yourself or your loved ones.

Biology of Belief

Live and Learn. We All Do.

Thanks for stopping by. Please share🙂

Please don’t forget to leave a comment. 



Posted in Health and Fitness, Self-Improvement, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Yes, Mom. Parenting IS Harder These Days.

One day when Pascal was about 1o months old, my Mom said, “Jeez. You guys sure make this look hard.” Referring to parenting.  Now, my Mom is a great mom and a fantastic grandmother. She’ll offer advice is you ask and generally won’t, if you don’t.

But yes…we do make it seem harder today.


Why is that?   Well, I got thinking…you know where that led.

I came down to one huge reason. Choices. Let me break it down for you, Ma.


1. You had a phone. Called a land line. It was attached by a wire to the house. If someone called when you weren’t home, tough shit. You didn’t even have to worry about checking messages. There weren’t any answering machines. Or telemarketers. Yeah. I know. I don’t have to pick up my phone every ring. I can shut it off. But then everyone assumes I’m dead and that just leads to more calls that have to be answered later.

2. You had no email. Again, I know it’s my choice to check this but it’s part of our reality and how we communicate. 24 hour communication has led to different expectations. People want to be replied to now. Or they think you’re dead.

3. You had no identity to preserve. Largely, you were housewife and mother and that’s it.  Back in the day, you weren’t expected to have more.  You weren’t asked what else do you do besides mother.

4. You got pregnant and you did exactly what the doctor said. He (yes, most likely a man) was pretty much God and you didn’t question his authority. You didn’t have a birth plan. You did no birth research. There wasn’t much out there even if you wanted to.


5.  Safety. The few car seats that were available, we now know weren’t safe. But on the flip side, you didn’t have 50 to choose from; to research for safety records, recalls and customer reviews.  I clearly remember climbing between seats in our huge, green station wagon. To smush my face against the back window. On the freeway.

6.  The crib you bought was a bed, not a potential death trap.  There also wasn’t a huge variety to choose from, so that cut down on…you guessed it…research.

7. Come to think of it…there weren’t any recalls.  Nor was there on-line news, social media and 24 hour news channels to scare the shit out of you about the crib. That was in fact, a death trap.

8. Those same sources of news also delight in kidnappings and murders. So we can’t just send our kids out to play. We have  to schedule it in.

9. Even if we could just send them outside, there’s no more ozone layer. See, you all didn’t have to carry around and liberally apply SPF 50 every 12 minutes. Nor did you need to research which brands don’t cause skin cancer and what age is best to use how much.

10. You didn’t know we all walking around dehydrated.  You didn’t worry that our BPA free water bottles were filled. Good thing.  Cause that’s another mind boggling amount of research.

11. Even if we did have the water bottles, they’d have been filled with Kool-Aid. Made with real sugar. Cause HFCS wasn’t invented yet.

12. Don’t get me started on BPA. And canned goods and plastic. That would make your head spin, Mom.

13.  And don’t get me started on HFCS. Or sugar. Or gluten. Or peanuts or soy. Food allergies are up by at least 50%. And even if your kid doesn’t have any…you have to be on the look out for other kids. Causing anaphylactic shock in another child is frowned upon.

14. Speaking of food. There was no organic vs. non. No grass-fed vs. feedlot meat. You bought what was in season from your local market. Because supermarkets and advertising and money hungry corporations weren’t in full swing yet. Monsanto wasn’t up to any tricks. Yet.

15. You didn’t read labels.  Do you know how time consuming reading labels is?

16. Children weren’t a MARKET. So you didn’t have to plan a trip to the market like a Navy Seal assignment, avoiding certain isles and products to avoid tantrums.

17.  Nor did you have to navigate all the various forms of programming, videos and games marketed to children.

18. You used cloth diapers. Paper diapers were new on the market and pricey. Everyone used cloth and rubber pants. Google cloth diapers to get an idea of what an industry THAT’S become. And no one measured your parenting based on your diaper choice.


19. You vaccinated when you were told. It wasn’t the same heavy schedule as today and warranted no research. Research, btw, that must be organized into a spread sheet to prove you’re not a negligent whack job.

20. Oh. Speaking of negligent whack jobs. You all minded your own business. You raised your kids and had little to say about how others were raising theirs. Today, we all get directly confronted and questioned on our choices. Daily.

21. You didn’t breastfeed. That was okay. The doctors told you formula was good for your baby and you did what everyone else did.  I’m not condemning the choice but nowadays you will be asked to defend your right to breastfeed. And you will  have to defend yourself  if you choose formula. And if you worked out of the home…which was not that common…you certainly wouldn’t have pumped your milk in a bathroom stall.

There weren’t these choices in your day, nor the information we have.

With choices and information comes the inevitable:


And blame. And guilt. What if I could have done something to prevent the autism, the Downs, the learning disability?

If your kid grew up to be a serial killer, so be it. With us, what if our kid turned out to be serial killer because we didn’t breastfeed? With all these choices and information, we need to choose carefully. Because if our kid is fucked up, it’s going to be OUR FAULT.

This, my friends, is where the competitive parenting comes into play. We aren’t really competitive.  We are desperate to have the world know that we TRIED to make the right choice.

So yes, Mom, we are making it look harder today. It IS harder today. I’m not saying anything you did was wrong. But let me make the choices I think are right. Let me stumble and fall and just be there to pick me up with an open heart. Let me over-think it and you can think I’m being ridiculous but don’t say it.

“They did the best they could with what they had at the time”. This is true of all parents. But now, we have a lot more choices and information, with which to do our best.

Isn’t it our responsibility…our obligation… to take that knowledge and use it?

By Jamie Glowacki

Live and Learn. 

Thanks for reading. Please share🙂

Please don’t forget to leave a comment.

Posted in motherhood, wellness | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Health Is Not Valued Till Sickness Comes.

The health problems of today grow more complicated with each passing day. We live in a time of synthetic nutrition, impoverished soil, adulteration, and over-refinement of food products. We eat ourselves to death and die of mal-nutrition.


There comes a time in most of our lives when our physical body begins to show definite symptoms of wear and tear. The physical resources are depleted by the inevitable processes of advancing years and the body is less able to sustain the bad habits of the mind and emotions. Obscure aches interfere with our schedule of daily activities, and the natural buoyancy of our youth and good health is diminished.

Most of us would like to assume that we are overworked, undernourished, and are the hopeless victims of world conditions. Certainly, no indiscretion of our own could be held responsible for the twinges that interfere with our blissful way of life.

But, one thing becomes clear, we are uncomfortable; and that circumstance alone also makes us thoughtful. There is nothing that supplies a larger incentive to carefully examine God, the universe, our fellow men, and ourselves than a touch of some life threatening disease.

Only experience, and painful experience at that can finally convince us that our health is a reflection of our code of living. Sickness always bears witness to the failure of judgment, self-control, or internal conviction.


Unfortunately, the body becomes a precious treasure only after it has been thoroughly abused.

When we first discover that we are sick, the first inclination is to develop a deep and terrible fear. Physical health and the sense of security go together. We believe we are well as long as our body appears to be healthy. We are sufficient to our needs if physical health supports our ambitions. But, when our body fails us or even shows serious indications of being inadequate, there is a marked diminution of courage.

We are only as secure as our ability to face the crises in our lives. Pain is a warning that the sufferer has broken faith with the rules of our kind. We have disobeyed laws that are stronger than our own will.

Most of the time we are ignorant of nature’s plan until we violate one or more of it’s edicts. Nearly everyone is more thoughtful and more intelligent as a result of sickness. Unfortunately, only severe illness reveals the impermanence of worldly possessions and inadequacy of material ambitions.

Life is not merely the continuance of mechanical function; it is the will to accomplish something, supported by the body and sustained by an inner enthusiasm, dedication or resolution.

Nature points out what is necessary, first gently, then more insistently, and finally with the full weight of authority. Those who are wise take the first hint. But, it is surprising how little we are inclined to correct our own faults.

Those who have come close to death are less likely to sacrifice essential values in pursuit of temporary goods. The very processes set up in the body by serious disease wean the mind from its attachments to the treasures on earth.


When we travel to a far country we accept many inconveniences because we wish to enlarge our knowledge. In the same way, sickness is a journey that has its disadvantages, but initiates us into a world of values we seldom explore while in good health.

Sickness can prove to be a wonderful eye-opener, especially if we define sickness as an invitation to self-improvement.

Nature gives us these opportunities to learn, but it cannot force us to accept the lessons. Sickness invites us to broaden our perspective and to estimate more correctly the relations between the human being and the universal plan. We all resent bad health, but it can be a blessing in disguise.

The experiences of life can mean something if we choose to think about them, and even our own mistakes are profoundly educational. From what we have done, what we have thought, how we have felt, and what we have believed, we can gain a valuable insight into ourselves and the reasons for our difficulties.

Hippocrates left among other medical axioms the well known statement: “a proper diagnosis is two thirds of the cure.” The doctor may never be in a position to give the proper diagnosis. It remains for the patient to fill in those overtones that are outside the province of physical medicine.


All enlightened physicians realize that intelligent cooperation on the part of the patient is a real and immediate aid to any special line of therapy.

Regardless of the diagnosis, we each can do a great deal to heal ourselves. We may even be able to disprove the scientific diagnosis or escape entirely from the expectancy patterns associated with various ailments.

The student is born, not made.

When false concepts about life and false policies about living have produced their inevitable consequences, we are still inclined to believe, or at least to hope, that these deep seated fallacies can be neutralized by pills, poultices, or the surgeon’s knife.  Maybe, self-improvement does not enlarge the bank account, however, lack of self-improvement can reduce our cash balance suddenly and dramatically.

Materialistic science can supply many useful remedies, but material medicine is only dedicated to the repair of damage already done. It cannot offer or at least it does not offer, a sound program for re-educating the patient.

If you are sick science can most likely provide you with a span of time in which to reorganize yourself. Even though existing knowledge may not be sufficient to cure your complaint. It can mitigate the symptoms and keep you in a state of reasonable comfort and efficiency for many years.

With this added opportunity you may be able to work out your own salvation if you are willing to practice the proper diligence. If science can assist you through an emergency and you accept the lesson that is taught by a health crisis, the best years of your life may lie ahead. If however, you lean upon the medication and continue previous practices a valuable opportunity for self-improvement has been wasted.

There is an expression and eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth. As a result, at least psychologically speaking, everyone loses eyes and teeth.

We all have fine and noble beliefs but we must apply them. The golden rule is not only an important ethical monument but it is also a valuable guide to efficient living. When we break faith, we lose faith. We know when our actions are not consistent with our claims; still it is easier to drift along compromising our convictions and catering to our weaknesses.

We can excuse our faults, but this does not change their substance or relieve us of their consequences.

There is no royal road to health for those of us who have disobeyed or ignored the basic rules. With patience, however, and sincere enlightened effort, much damage can be corrected that affects the average person in the second half of life originating from the excesses and negative habit patterns that were developed and practiced in the first half of life.

Let your sickness be a challenge calling you to make a real and lasting effort to put your life in order. Remember nature will fight on your side if you keep its laws.

Live and Learn. We All Do.

Thanks for stopping by. Please share🙂

Please don’t forget to leave a comment. 






Posted in Philosophy, wellness | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Skinny On Coconuts

The Pharaoh’s Nut, also called the coconut, is known as the “Tree of Life” because it is one of the most useful trees in the world.  In addition to its food value, there are innumerable uses for the tree and its fruit including soap, cosmetics, rope, lumber, fuel, fertilizer, charcoal filters, and a host of domestic products that can be woven from the leaves.


Many people are unaware that the first recorded coconut sighting was from Costas, an Egyptian traveler in the 5th century, A.D when he wrote about finding an “Indian nut” that many scholars today claim was the coconut.

Coconuts were also referred to in the story of Sinbad the Sailor in 1,001 Arabian Nights. Coconuts made a strong impression on Venetian explorer Marco Polo, 1254 to 1324 CE, when he encountered them in Sumatra, India, and the Nicobar Islands, calling them “Pharaoh’s nut.” The reference to the Egyptian ruler indicated Polo was aware that during the 6th century Arab merchants brought coconuts back to Egypt from East Africa where the nuts were flourishing.

In the 1700s, the Portuguese finally gave the coconut the name we use today. In Portuguese ‘coco’ means ‘grinning face’ or ‘monkey face’ – (derived from the Portuguese for monkey – ‘macaco’) resembled by the three dark circles on the shell.

For about 3960 years of the of the past 4000 year the documented historical use of the coconut as both a food and a pharmaceutical was well respected around the world in the tropical regions of South and Central America, Africa, the Indian subcontinent, Micro-, Mele- and Poly-nesia and most of Asia. The uses are so respected that they were documented by Ayurvedic medicine in Sanskrit from 1500BC in all areas relating to the mind, body and spirit.

However, this all changed in 1954 when the coconut was dubbed a villain by the medical establishment and the fat-phobic popular media. A media campaign demonized the coconut and other tropical oils and blamed them for heart attacks because of their saturated fat content; the health establishment and the American Heart Association quickly jumped on board. All the saturated fats were simply generalized under one category, ignoring the fact that some saturated fat is in fact necessary for human health. As a result, food companies stopped using tropical oils, replacing them largely with partially hydrogenated oils.

This was a bad move, of course, since those oils contain trans fats, which were subsequently found to be more of a health hazard than any saturated fat.

The Prudent Diet, as it was called, left a legacy, which still haunts us today. 40 years on, this conceptual change in the eating habits of Americans has negatively influenced and changed the dietary regimes of societies all around the world that were initially not even affected by America’s particular meat, potato and milk diet.

The American industries were so determined in converting their claims into magnificent billboards of health and wealth that even small island nations in the South Pacific were converted by this powerful marketing machine to change centuries of dietary traditions of tropical oils to importing polyunsaturated fats.

Now, fortunately, the coconut is making a comeback.

Modern research has shown that not all saturated fats are alike and coconut oil is unique in its structural make-up due to its medium chain fatty acids – the closest to those found in human breast milk that nature provides.


This is because they are processed directly in the liver and immediately converted into energy. There is therefore less strain on the liver, pancreas and digestive system and, being easily digested, they also tend to improve the absorption of other nutrients.

Past research has failed to reveal this because it was carried out on hydrogenated coconut oil – a process that transforms all fats into man-made, dangerous, carcinogenic trans fatty acids.

Our health shouldn’t have to depend on the swinging pendulums of nutritional bureaucracy. Nature has provided perfectly packaged foods in the form of whole, natural plant foods. There is a rhyme and reason for every one of these in terms of its macro and micro-nutrient compositions, health, and medicinal properties. When we take these foods and process them in some way, we are moving away from this packaged perfection. The more we process foods and isolate nutrients, the more controversial, problematic, and unpredictable the food becomes.

So how do we choose the BEST Coconut Oil?

First, make sure it is 100% Pure! Pure virgin coconut oil is made from fresh coconuts, NOT copra (used for many coconut oils) and the resulting product should have a distinct taste and fragrance. Oils made from copra have to be refined bleached and deodorized to make them fit for human consumption and they have no fragrance or flavor. Some manufacturers take advantage of the FDA rule that allows for up to 20% cheaper, filler oils to be added to coconut oil. Not cool and not healthy.

Proper harvesting of the coconut (the age of a coconut can be 2 to 20 months when picked) makes a significant difference in the efficacy of the oil making process in addition to how the oil is pressed (cold) makes the best final extracted product.

To pick a high quality product, focus on coconut oil that is virgin, organic, processed in the least invasive way, and packaged in glass jars. Food and plastic do not mix for optimal health. Every few months or years, we learn about some new toxicity issues related to plastic and its potential to leach various harmful compounds into the food or drinks being stored in it.

Focus also on reputable companies who provide fair trade products and accurate, detailed information about their coconut oil. If they can leave the world a little better than they found it – why not help them out?

Coconuts that are prepared, typically right where they grow, by local families for manual pressing tend to ensure the freshest coconut oil and provides the least invasive processing methods possible. It is also the most eco-friendly and supportive of native people’s livelihoods.

Curious about the coconut?

See, Smell and Taste the difference for yourself. Give it a try!

Get 15% off use code: SKINNYCO15.

Live and Learn. We All Do.

Thanks for stopping by. Please share🙂

Please don’t forget to leave a comment.




Posted in Beauty, Health and Fitness | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Optimal Health Is The Cornerstone Of All Human Potential.

Like every game, the game of health has its own specific set of rules. These are not rules created by human ideas or by the medical, pharmaceutical, scientific, or religious communities. These rules are the Universal Principles that govern the processes that determine the quality of health we experience. They apply at all times and in every situation without exception.

These Universal Principles include both Spiritual Laws and Laws of Nature.


If you strive to achieve your greatest human potential you will need to be healthy. Why? Because, optimal health is the cornerstone of all human potential.

Our physical presence on this earth, our body, is the vehicle through which we experience the world around us. It is the gift we were given, so we would be able to engage in and experience the universe and all things of creation at the physical level, on the material plane of existence, here on planet earth. It includes all the physical senses: our ability to see, hear, taste, smell and touch.

All of life has intrinsic value. Our physical presence on this planet must have meaning and purpose, simply because we exist. Because of this existence we have potential that was meant to be expressed. Although our existence suggests an implied responsibility to this physical existence, the choice is still ours to make.

Nature never wanted man to leave his body before advanced old age, and if only everyone would obey the laws of nature from his childhood on, instead of constantly working against them, the death of human beings through disease in their youth or middle age would be as rare as death by violence – Ramacharaka, from Yesudian and Haich – Yoga and Health

When we choose to play by the rules. We increase our likelihood of creating favorable health outcomes. When we violate the rules, either by choice or through ignorance, there are inescapable consequences.

So what are the Natural and Spiritual rules of health?

The Laws of Nature refer to those principles that govern how things work in the physical, visible world. Laws of Nature include the proven and accepted principles of physical, chemistry, and biology that we use to explain and understand how the human body functions and is designed to work.  So, “How does the body work as nature intended?” Your ability to master the game of health begins with this question. If you can understand how the body works as nature intended, then you have a foundation, a frame of reference, and a starting point for figuring out how to achieve health and prevent illness and disease.

The Spiritual Laws refer to those principles that govern the energy dynamics in the non-physical, invisible universe. The universe is comprised of information and energy; although the energy of our thoughts and emotions do not have a physical dimension, these invisible forces greatly influence how we experience the physical world. Our physical health does not exist independent of the influence of these non-material factors. Let’s look at some of the Spiritual Laws and how they relate specifically to health:

The Law of Abundance

Although we usually hear about this law in the context of creating material wealth on the planet, it also applies to creating health in your life. There are adequate resources in the universe to crete all things and these resources flow through the dynamic energy exchange of giving and receiving. If you are in need of something, you must be open and ready to receive it. This implies that you not only have to think it and believe it, but your actions must also be in alignment with this belief.

The Law of Action

Although we may desire optimal health and a life that is pain-free, disease-free, and medication-free, only action that is in alignment with the truth about the way the body works as nature intended can make this a reality. All the information and knowledge in the world changes nothing. Your ability to align your actions with the truth about health is the only way to create positive change in your life.

The Law of Attraction

This is the basic law of all manifestation. You attract into your life that into which you put the energy of your thoughts. If you desire good health, you can attract it into your life- but only if your understanding and belief system about health is accurate and truthful. Alternately you also have the power to attract into your life that which you do not want – illness and disease- by focusing your attention and thoughts on what you don’t want. For example, “since this disease runs in my family, so I will also get this disease.”

The Law of Cause and Effect

The elemental patterns of nature exist in balance. Disturbances in these patterns (cause) result in consequential alterations of the patterns of nature (effect). When you nourish the body’s health you create health. When you starve the body of physical nourishment you create sickness. The same is true on the spiritual, mental, and emotional planes. Nourishment creates health; lack of nourishment creates un-health.

The Law of Energy

Everything in the universe is Energy. Energy can be directed to create and support or restrict and block an ultimate goal or destination. Energy includes thoughts and feelings. Energy itself has no meaning, quality, or characteristic other than the one you give it. We operate from two primary energies: love and fear. The Law of Attraction and The Law of Cause and Effect determine the extent to which the outcomes you experience in your life are an expression of either love (expansiveness, abundance, fulfillment, and health) or fear (limitation, lack, unhappiness, and un-health).

The Law of Expectation

Energy follows though; you move toward but not beyond what you can imagine. If you see yourself as being sickly , universal dynamixs will move you toward that direction. If you see yourself as have a strong healthy constitution, with the power to both heal and prevent illness and disease, universal dynamics will help make that reality in your life.

The Law of Free Will or The Law of Choice

We each have the opportunity to express our creative energy in the world in either expansive and positive ways or in limiting and negative ways. This decision is ours alone. No matter what our current health circumstances, we have the power to choose a different path. Whether we realize it or not, we create our path in life based on what we know and what we implement. We can either accept 100% responsibility and accountability for the thoughts, feelings, words and actions that determine our experience of health or we can give up our power and do what others tell us we should do and think about our health.

Are you going through life under someone else’s direction or your own? The choice is yours.

The Law of Giving and Receiving

The universe operates through the principle of dynamic exchange: as you give to others that which you desire to receive, the abundance of the universe is perpetuated in your own life. Giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. Giving and receiving are opposite sides of the same coin of universal dynamics. The energy of each is equal, and the universe will respond to either with a pull of the energy of the other.

The Law of Healing

We we talk about healing, we are not talking about health care. Health care refers to the mechanical processes used to treat illness and disease: drugs and surgery used by conventional medicine; nutritional supplements used by nutritionists; various techiques of manual manipulation of soft tissue used by massage therapists; manual manipulatiom of joints by chiropractors; and other mechanically or chemically-based techniques. Healing, in contrast, refers to the shifts in energy that occure in the body that precede any physiological changes. We all possess the power to heal; healing energy is within us.

The Law of Intention

Inherent in every intention and desire is the mechanics for its fulfillment. Intention and desire in the field of pure potentiality have infinite organizing power. When we introduce an intention in the fertile ground of pure potentiality (or the pure ability for something to develop or come into existence), we put this infinite organizing power to work for us.

The Law of Karma or The Law of Consequences

Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind. What we sow is what we reap. And when we choose actions that are in alignment with the way the body workds as nature intended, the fruit of our karma is good health. This is the natural principle of cause and effect. There are no accidents in life. Everything has meaning and purpose. Even our illnesses and diseases have meaning and purpose.

The Law of Pure Potentiality

The source of all creation is pure consciousness. In pure consciousness lies the seed for pure potentiality. Pure potentiality seeks expression from the unmanifest to the manifest. When we realize our true Self is one of pure potentiality, we align with the power that manifests everything in the universe. When you discover your essential nature and know who you really are, you can fulfill any desire you have, including optimal health. Only when we interfere with the natural order of things do we create health problems beyond the body’s natural ability to cope. Every cell in your body has the genetic potential for optimal health.

The Law of Responsibility

Everything in your life you create at some level. In some way you have contributed to the creation of every illness and disease that has befallen you other than those that were present at your birth. Inhere in your ability to embrace this understanding lifes the empowerment to be able to recreate or change anything and everything in your life that is not working for you, including the quality of your life. But, this can only happen when you are willing to accept 100% responsibility and 100% accountability without exception, for everything you experience in your life.

Read more: The Optimal Life

Dr. Stephen C. Bizal, D.C
Wellness Lifestyle Interventionist

Live and learn. We All Do.

Thanks for stopping by. Please share🙂

Please don’t forget to leave a comment.




Posted in Health and Fitness, wellness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

How Modesty Made Me Fat

This isn’t a story about how modest clothes allowed me to “let myself go” and conceal a growing figure. It’s not even a story about how wearing modest clothes kept my self-esteem at rock bottom and thrust me into a too-close relationship with Ben & Jerry. It’s a story about how modesty doctrines impacted my mind, in ways that had real, negative effects on my body.


Modesty was one of the reasons my defining relationship with my body became whether or not I was “fat.” Modesty was one of the engines that pushed me into a full-blown eating disorder. It’s not just a dress code: It’s a philosophy, and it’s one that destroys young women, mentally and physically.

Modesty taught me that my first priority needed to be making sure I wasn’t a “stumbling block” to men. Not being sexually attractive was the most important thing I had to consider when buying clothes, putting them on, maintaining my weight (can’t have things getting tight!), and moving around (can’t wiggle those hips, or let a little knee show).

Modesty taught me that what I looked like was what mattered most of all. Not what I thought. Not how I felt. Not what I was capable of doing. Worrying about modesty, and being vigilant not to be sexy, made me even more obsessed with my looks than the women in short shorts and spray tans I was taught to hate.

Modesty taught me that I was always on display. There was no occasion in which it was acceptable to be immodest. Not the beach, not at the pool with friends, not in my own backyard (sunbathing was out because a neighbor might glance over and see me). This took my normal self-consciousness as a teenage girl and amped it up to an impossible degree. I once had a bee fly down my (acceptably loose) shirt and, in flailing around to get it out, had a family member comment that I’d just “flashed” my own grandfather.

I was horrified for the rest of the week. That’s not normal. The normal order of priorities is getting dangerous animals out of your clothing first, and then worrying about making your own relatives perv on you second. Not so with the modesty doctrine. I should have let it sting me, apparently. Getting stung was the lesser risk.

Modesty was not just about dress. It was also about moving like a lady. Knees together, butt down, breasts in, arms down. It is impossible to get physically fit while adhering to ladylike movements only. You might be able to run, but only if you wear two sports bras to keep anything from jiggling inappropriately. You certainly can’t do anything with weights. In college, I had the chance to join a horseback riding team for a couple of semesters.

I soon realized that staying on the horse required starting some kind of fitness regimen. In the gym, I found a couple of hip abductor/adductor machines that were handy for building the thigh strength necessary to grip the horse. The problem? I was so embarrassed that somebody might walk in front of me while I was on the machine with my legs spread that I started going to the gym the moment it opened in the morning and avoiding exercise when men were present. In this instance, modesty was literally keeping me weak.

Eventually, I grew comfortable enough with my own body to exercise without worrying about other people happening to look at me. Now, I do an exercise routine that would have scandalized my old self: squats, deadlifts, and barbell rows. I have so much more energy and my mood is so much improved—plus, I can move my own furniture! But I couldn’t have gotten to this point without dumping the modesty doctrine.

Because I couldn’t concentrate on hauling iron while worried that some perv behind me might happen to glance my way and pop his gym shorts. That’s not my job anymore. I’m not responsible for men’s souls, because I no longer think of myself as an object to be looked at and evaluated.

Backing up to before I got to college, modesty contributed to my eating disorder. How? Because I noticed that the best way to keep men from staring at my ass was not to have one. Ditto boobs. The skinnier I got, the less womanly I looked, and the more “modest” I felt, until I was 25 pounds underweight. I was perpetually “fat” in my own mind—because in my own mind, the only acceptable body type was an androgynous one—one that could not possibly provoke a man to lust. I’m sure I don’t need to explain why that was a bad thing.

Modesty taught me that I was a decoration. Everything about my life was governed by whether or not a man was watching. How I moved and what I ate or wore all depended on the male gaze. Modesty taught me that nothing I did mattered more than avoiding sexual attention. Modesty made me objectify myself. I was so aware of my own potential desirability at all times that I lost all other ways of defining myself.

I couldn’t work out or get fit without worrying about attracting men. I couldn’t relax my eating habits for a moment lest my shirts start to pull a little in the chest. I couldn’t grow like a normal human adolescent because staying slim and sexless was the biggest priority in my world.

When you argue that what’s modest and what isn’t is a valid concern for women, you tell them that their appearance matters most. You objectify them. You tell them that whether or not you are sexually aroused by their actions or their dress is more important than anything they want to do or wear. You tell them that they must, at all times, be thinking about you when they are making decisions about their own lives. That’s arrogant. That’s immoral.

When you argue that modesty is just a “debate” that must be won by those whose arguments are strongest in the abstract, you ignore the fact that the “debate” has consequences you don’t have to live with. Women have to live with the consequences of modesty debates. Those debates impact every sphere of their lives: work, play, even their own health and well-being. If you think that, as a man, you can somehow argue “objectively” about what women should or shouldn’t wear and “win” a debate fair and square, let me remind you of a few things.

If a man “loses” a modesty debate, nothing about his life changes. If a man “wins” a modesty debate, nothing about his life changes. But if a woman loses a modesty debate, the entire fabric of her existence changes. If a woman loses a modesty debate, she has lost whole areas of freedom in her life. She now has more things to worry about not doing so that men will not get aroused.

There is no such thing as an “objective” argument in which the stakes are astronomical for one side and nonexistent for the other. Furthermore, by even accepting modesty as a valid area of concern for women, you have accepted a premise that defines women by their looks and objectifies them. Women have already lost the moment a modesty debate begins.

Modesty made me “fat” because it defined my relationship with my body in terms of appearance. Not action. Not gratitude. Not the joy of movement. Just appearance. It also defined my relationship with men as one of predator and prey. It was my job to hide from men so that their sex drive would lie dormant, like a sleeping wolf.

But if that wolf ever awakened, it was not because it had been sleeping for a long time and its circadian rhythm kicked in, or it was just naturally hungry. It was my fault because I had done something to “bait” the wolf. Just by being visibly female, or by moving in “unladylike” ways. You cannot consider women full human beings unless you recognize that their lives do not revolve around the male sex drive. Modesty is a philosophy that dehumanizes. It incites constant fear and vigilance in one sex while excusing the other of all responsibility. It’s immoral.

By Sierra who is a PhD student living in the Midwest.

Live and Learn. We All Do.

Thank for reading. Please share🙂

Please don’t forget to leave a comment. 

Posted in Culture, wellness | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment