Calling All Moms! It’s Time To Take Back The Truth


Fraud.

A powerful accusation, sensational, provocative. When we think of fraud, what comes to mind? Images of avarice-driven men putting their greed before the best interest of a larger population. Does it feel different when it is a woman behind the mask? What about a woman charged with “Saving Lives. Protecting People.” as is the CDC’s claim? What if that larger population put at risk is our infants, babies, and children?

Today, I am calling all women, to hear this news, let it permeate deep down to the core of their primal instincts, and say, enough is enough.

As citizens of this capitalist nation, we cannot rely on corporate-sponsored news media for the truth. We must source it from trusted independent outletsinformed experts, and even going to the available science, ourselves. It is time to reclaim our health, and that of our families, once and for all. When we outsource our native wisdom, our belief in the fundamental strength of our minds and bodies, to corporations whose primary fiduciary responsibility is to their shareholders, we are sacrificing ourselves, and our children. Women and children are the sheep being led off the ledge. I have written about a known 4250% increase in fetal demise during the 2009/10 flu season, about evidence-based inefficacy and risks of the pertussis vaccine pushed on pregnant women, about Gardasil killing healthy girls across the globe, fear mongering about SIDS that is actually caused by a visit to the pediatrician, and of the corruption of an infant’s birthday by the Hepatitis B vaccine. In rejecting the paradigm of vaccination, it is important to grasp the nature of the political beast that is pushing vaccines into the arms (legs and buttocks) of every American.

This week, devotees to the shrine of conventional medicine that is vaccination, are called to the floor.

After Dr. Brian Hooker’s requests through the Freedom of Information Act for original MMR study documentation, a CDC Immunization Safety Researcher, Dr. William Thompson has buckled under the pressure of his conscience, and come forth as a whistle blower. These documents demonstrated a 3.4 fold increase in the incidence of autism in African American boys, expunged from the final study results in a violent act of scientific fraud.  Dr. Thompson has since corroborated the CDC’s retroactive alteration of the data to eliminate the signal of harm.  In light of a 2004 letter confirming CDC awareness and suppression of these findings, CDC head, Dr. Julie Gerberding committed perjury before moving onto her position at Merck in the Vaccine Division. Dr. Hooker has published the unadulterated finding here.

As parents around the world have known for 7 decades, and basic science has supported,  vaccines do cause autism. Despite the defiance of the CDC in its refusal to conduct that most basic of studies, a retrospective case-control investigation of autism rates in vaccinated versus unvaccinated children, science has been supporting the connection for years. In a transparent effort to paralyze the conversation, the Institute of Medicine has handily dismissed a causal relationship between vaccination and autism, referencing 4 studies, including the very study in question, and another by now fugitive Paul Thorsen, and one that actually did demonstrate over 50% regression after MMR. Analyses that have been done, outside of Pharma’s pocket book, have demonstrated statistically significant correlations between vaccination and autism and suggested that prevention involves less-to-no vaccination.

It is time for us to acknowledge the heinous nature of this  one-size-fits-all pharmaceutical assault. There are no green vaccines, no room for a “slowed or alternate schedule”  because vaccination itself is predicated on an antiquated misapprehension of individualized immunity. Metals, antibiotics, chemical preservatives, and manipulated animal and human tissues have no place in human ecology. This mismatch is particularly egregious in our current state as a species, hovering on the brink of devolution, in an age of profound transgenerational compromise of mitochondrial dysfunction, detox capacity, and microbiota-supported immunity.

 Are We Surprised?

A veritable body-bomb, the MMR contains recombinant human albumin, fetal bovine serum, and chick embryo fibroblasts, and the potential for interspecies activation of unknown retroviruses, molecular mimicry, and reactivation of the virulence of the infectious virus itself – a completely unstudied and medically unacknowledged risk. Conventional medicine, particularly the field of infectious disease, has yet to adopt the new science, which has demonstrated the imperative of individualized risk assessment. There is no effort to screen for, identify, or personalize this intervention based on genetics, lifestyle, or markers of altered immunity. This is the equivalent of hammering a one-sized-helmet on to each child’s head, in full knowledge that some fraction of those children will be injured or even killed in this barbaric process. Add to this co-exposures such as nutrient depleted maternal diets, surgical births, formula feeding, ultrasoundpesticides, and pharmaceuticals like Tylenol, and there is only so long we can defend a model of toxicology that ignores the synergy of these risks.

A novel diagnosis, Measles-Induced Neuroautistic Encephalopathy (MINE) appears to be a variant of the most severe complication of measles, Subacute Sclerosing Panencephalitis, which develops when the body is unable to clear the measles virus. MINE has only been reported in children who have received MMR vaccines. An immature or otherwise compromised immune system appears to be a necessary risk factor for the development of MINE and SSPE. Who is assessing vaccine recipients for this risk factor? Do we even know how?

Autism is the emblem for modern human health. These children are the canaries in the coalmine. Those whose buckets were full-to-overflowing until the final uninvited drops spill over the edge. They suffer from oxidative damagemitochondrial dysfunctiondysbiosis, and brain-based inflammation and autoimmunity. In the era of vaccine design, it was not even known that the brain had immune function, let alone that our gut microbiome is the mastermind of of our immune response, and that we must cooperate with the bacteria and viruses in our midst. There is no free lunch, no slaughter of bugs, no offensive attack that does not also undermine our own health.

 The Flood

Parents are taking back the truth. It is my expectation that this crack in the dam will serve to sound an alarm. To wake women up. To show them that they have relinquished their maternal wisdom, and that it is time to wrest it back. As Dan Olmsted states:

More broadly, these “leaks” in the bulwark of conventional wisdom have been coming for a long time, and not just from people on the inside with information to share.

I’m talking about leaks like all the parents of children on the other side of the elevated-risk stats – MMR shots at 12 months, illness, regression, autism.

Leaks like parents who saw it with other vaccines, at other times  — parents who were willing to share what happened to try to keep it from happening again.

Leaks like the original Verstraeten study at the CDC that found a high risk of autism for infants who got the most ethyl mercury by the first month of life, as opposed to the least.

Leaks like the CDC coverup of the soaring autism rate in Brick Township, N.J.

Leaks like all the evidence from low-and-no-vaccine populations with low-to-no autism. Leaks like the unwillingness of the public health authorities to even study the issue.

Leaks like the Hannah Poling case, which the government conceded was triggered by autism, but buried by obfuscation. Leaks like the Unanswered Questions study showing autism all over the place in unacknowledged vaccine “court” rulings.

Leaks like the SafeMinds parents identifying autism as a “novel form of mercury poisoning” more than a decade ago.

Leaks like the Merck scientists who came forward to say the company faked data to make its mumps vaccine look effective.

Leaks like the connection between the first cases of autism reported in the medical literature, in 1943, and the families’ exposure to the new ethyl mercury vaccines and fungicides.

Leaks like the whole catastrophic half-a-millennium love affair between the medical industry and mercury, one that should have ended long before the autism tidal wave started carrying away America’s children.

Leaks like the most obvious one of all – the explosion of autism and the vaccine schedule at the same time Congress gave the nation’s corrupt drug makers a free ride in court, a ride on the backs of America’s vaccine-injured children and their stumbling families.

These leaks are becoming a flood, and the flood a tidal wave, just like the autism tidal wave, and the wave is washing away the whole wall of denial built by the same people who just about now are running out of fingers and toes to plug them with.

Deeply ingrained in our most primitive impulses, mothers are wired to protect their children. This protection no longer takes the form of sheltering them from wild animals, warming their bodies from the elements, and procuring foraged food. Today, our charge is to access a fearlessness. To shed a “medicate it, kill it, suppress it!” reflex, and to adopt a deep respect for our coevolution with the natural world, and a powerful rejection of a broken healthcare model that is making us sicker by the minute. If we stand together, our feminine wisdom will cast a shadow so dark that Pharma will run scared. Dig deep for that fearlessness, and let emerging truths like Thompson’s support your journey back to self.

BY KELLY BROGAN MD

Live and Learn. We All Do.

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Training Think Tank Upgrades Your Understanding


I wish I could go back in time and count the number of times I have heard a cliché generalization like “no pain, no gain” in my tenure as an athlete, a member of a seminar, or an observer of a group fitness class. If the fitness world was personified it would be a drunk abusive militarized patriarchal figure. He would be constantly screaming at you, telling you that you’re not good enough and you failed because you were a pu$$y, and that the people better than you are just tougher. This lie that your body can be shaped and adapted purely by the power of will causes many problems.

I think the biggest problem is that the people who are actually superior in fitness believe the lie they’ve been told. They think they are actually supremely tougher than the less talented and everything that they ‘have’ they’ve earned by working harder than the rest. The flip side to trusting our heroes is that people who look up to those role models in fitness think that way of pushing the body constantly past its limits will result in a perpetual adaptation machine capable of becoming the best in the world. People actually believe if they put themselves into the pain zone more frequently and throw up more in workouts, they will attain greatness.

The reality, like most things, is much more complex. When things get really complex people have a tendency to want to make generalizations because it makes it easy to try to be in control of the massively complex nature of all things. The human body is a complex and intricate system. It’s a disservice to humanity and the uniqueness of each one of our physical beings to simplify all physical development into a brute force “beat down” system. People who achieve greatness with their physical bodies may all share the common bond of ability to suffer. But, correlation is not causation and that is not what we should be looking at trying or trying to mimic. Elite athletes of any discipline were given a unique subset of DNA that allow them to succeed. They can often lose their perspective of humanity and sense of humility as they develop. And if you’ve spent enough time around professional athletes or celebrities you know that often people meet superstars and feel a sense of disappointment after coming to the realization that the human being behind the performance and public image does not line up to their dreams.

I believe success is a hard thing with which to cope. We all share our humanity whether we want to admit our interconnectedness or not, and sometimes other people’s resentment of success, their envy of bodies, or their lack of understanding of the work of others, leads them to some erroneous conclusions. It’s much easier to think that everything we have earned was due to our hard work, determination, and grit. Pointing at the lesser genetically gifted or circumstanced individuals and say things like “…I’m just comfortable going to that dark place,” or “I’m willing to work harder than everyone else so it doesn’t matter what the training looks like,” or “I was willing to do whatever it took.” These statements, which generalize what really goes into the success of athletic development, only scratch the surface.   What most coaches and only some athletes realize is that the genetically talented have unique muscle physiologies, endocrine systems, and anatomical configurations. As proud of themselves as they should be for their hard work, they should be equally grateful to their parents for giving them phenomenal bodies that adapt to training (or their drug suppliers for those who are seemingly genetically gifted and rely on some scientific assistance).

Normally I would not mind that this seemingly small belief structure is continuing to expand at a virus like rate, but I believe each person has a right to optimize his or her experience in this world. I’ve met many people with dreams and ambitions to be the best versions of themselves buying into this over generalization. They work hard day in and day out, measure all their food, work on their technique, but they constantly think they are doing something wrong because they are not seeing the gains. Generally, elite athletes coach the less gifted by saying things like “yes, you need to compete more,” or “you need to work on your movement,” or “you need a new coach,” or “you need to try ‘this’ diet,” or any number of things. This comes from the simple lie that we can all be the best if we work hard. We can’t. The best and luckiest can become the best.

But, we can become the best versions of ourselves and there is an extreme amount of peace and serenity being able to walk around in this world confident that your body is as good as it can be, mobile, strong, explosive, enduring, and pain free. While that might not be impressive for photo shoots, product sales and Instagram likes, it will be something you value when you start to see people lose their physical health. I’ve watched too many “experts”, happy to tell people they’re mentally weak, causing them to destroy their physical health. If you own a gym, if you are an athlete, if you want to be an athlete – you need to understand that pain tolerance is one component of the athletic development spectrum. The likelihood that your mental willingness to suffer in training is your biggest overall athletic limitation is quite low. It is more likely your lifestyle, your recovery habits, your technique, your movement, your hating of your job, your lacking self-confidence, or a variety of other things is the largest restriction.

Before we get into a discussion of pain though we must first decide what it is people are referring to when they say ‘pain’ or the ‘dark place.’ Pain is a very complex and deeply researched field. Going into the biological mechanisms that create the sensation of pain would be something I am both incapable of doing off the top of my head and unwilling to research to create a blog topic that would go over almost everyone’s head (including mine). However, when it comes to exercise, I try to remove the word ‘pain’ from my vocabulary and discuss the limitations that stop people from progressing faster in training. There are many types of limitations in exercise including the ability to disperse heat, fuel supply, cardio-respiratory limitations, and psychological limitations. I won’t discuss them all in this blog, but the ‘pain’ most people refer to are psychological limitations within the training session.

It is true, I believe, that these are the one subset of limitations that most people should learn to push through. Because we live in a very ‘easy’ society (in relation to perhaps our farming or hunting ancestors) there are many people who have no tolerance for physical discomfort. However, after your first 1-3 years of training most people break through their initial psychological limitations. These psychological limitations morph at each stage of develop and resurface as the primary priority for elite athletes. This is why there is a premium on sports psychologists, flow states, and why so many high level athletes have a hard time winning in spite of world-class training talent. However, there are many people who take this too far and train through massive amounts of ‘pain’ when it won’t make them better. There are two major types of pain I commonly see people pushing past causing stunted progress for their goals; joint pain and energy system pain.

Before I go into those two limitations further, I want to make clear that if you take on any physical quest to improve, you are likely to deal with some chronic aches and pains. I firmly believe that optimal levels of performance start where optimal levels of health end. You must be willing to accept that if you want to be great at something physically demanding. But, the scale has been shifted so far to turning training into an abusive relationship that I feel comfortable making the generalization on the opposite side of the scale to reel people in from their self torturous training. Joint pain is a simple one.

You should not be hurting every single day from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed except when you get your adrenaline pumping from training. It shouldn’t take you 2 hours to warm up for a 30 min skill session with the barbell because your knees are so sore you can’t sit in the car for ten minutes. There are a few elite athletes that are decades into their training that I might say this is ok for, but that is just pure stupidity if you have a life. Energy system induced pain is a little bit more complicated to explain. It’s often associated with increasing lactate levels (a fuel source) and the associated acidity that rises from one of the byproducts of that energy pathway.

To understand this huge overgeneralization, you must understand that there are two major systems which provide energy when you do something that is breathing intensive. The first is the aerobic system and the second is the anaerobic lactic system. While both of these are operating in conjunction with one another all the time, one is the predominant player in the game depending on the duration, effort, muscle physiology of the athlete, and ability to tolerate discomfort. The aerobic system is the less powerful more sustainable fuel system that creates much less fatigue substrates. The anaerobic system is the more powerful, less sustainable, highly fatiguing system that causes most of the agony of hard breathing training. Again, this is a HUGE over-simplification of a complex topic, but it is enough to gain an understanding of what you’re seeing when people are going “hard.”

When you tax the body, the body picks the least energetically demanding way to supply the energy. Think of your body as extremely lazy and systematically designed for efficiency. It is going to do whatever it can to avoid working harder than it needs to work, which is why you constantly need to call on your willpower (or something in your ‘mind’) to do something difficult. In a test like a one-mile run for time, your body’s preference would be to supply all the energy with the aerobic system. However, in trained individuals, much of what determines actual fuel utilization is based on two major things; genetic make up and your training background. If you are lucky enough to have relatively powerful slow twitch fibers, the oxidative form of fast twitch fibers, high capillary density, large lung volume, and great adrenal capacity, you are likely to be able to produce a lot of power using the aerobic system. This would allow you to go fast without getting TOO much into the ‘pain cave.’ So, people with this profile can actually beat you in workouts while dealing with less ‘pain.’

Ironically as these athletes develop they can start accessing greater amounts of power and the training protocols that they used to use start beating them down. Which is why you see many athletes with a higher training history start talking about lowering their volume or adding in more recovery work or ‘getting old,’ when in fact they may have just been training poorly and it’s finally catching up to them. If you have poor physiology for aerobic power you can fall into one of two categories. The anaerobically powerful athletes who generally trend toward excelling at field sports, power sports, put on muscle mass really easily, and hate endurance work OR the lower end of the physical gene pool that has both low aerobic potential and low anaerobic potential. Both of the people in this second group must train with a smarter understanding of ‘pain’ in order to succeed long term in training, which I will discuss a bit later. The second determinant of the energy system used for a test like the mile run is an athlete’s training background.

There is a huge shift away from doing long slow distance training in the fitness community. I think this stems from the fact that our attention spans as a society have diminished to the level of 3 month old puppies. It is boring, so many people are rushed for time, and there is much less of a neurochemical high after a long easy row at 130 beats per minute than there is after fifty nine thousand Tabata intervals on the rower at max effort while eating three grams of carbs every 29 months. However, if you talk to almost any HIGH LEVEL athlete in the sport of fitness (or any sport), they almost always had very high low intensity activity levels. That easy work could have been in the form of organized sports as a kid (or all the way to collegiate level), being an outdoors person, jogging, swimming, hiking, farm work, etc. That low intensity work often lays the foundations for the high intensity work that follows later on in the life cycle of a high intensity athlete. So, knowing that different physiologies are going to create different types of ‘pain’/fatigue allows you to know that we all can’t think of pain as the same thing.

IF you are one of those genetic freaks who can constantly improve at everything and constantly go hard all the time, then you are probably ok to think of pain as something to acquaint yourself with frequently. Eventually, you will have to smarten up or you will be burnt out, beat up, need drugs, or forced into retirement from maladaptation; but for now, you might be able to get away with it. If you aren’t one of those lucky genetic freaks who I discussed AND you haven’t put a huge background into long slow work, skill development, and basic strength work, you probably should avoid constantly seeking pain in your training.

I feel like the major misconception that causes people to destroy themselves day in and day out is the belief that pain is synonymous with intensity. This is NOT true. Say I asked two athletes to run a mile run for time, but gave different instructions to both. The first athlete I tell to sprint the first 400m as fast as they possibly could and then finish the rest of the mile for time. The second athlete I have work hard, but distribute the speed equally over the course of the mile working on sustainability. The first would likely result in more pain and the other in more intensity. If you’ve watched enough of the CrossFit Games, you know that they constantly mention how methodical and paced Rich Froning Jr is in the beginning of workouts, not chasing the rabbits. This is his way of doing his work like the second miler explained above. The first way (sprint out of the gate) is almost guaranteed to result in a worse score but more pain. The second is going to result in less overall pain throughout the work interval and more intensity. This is because intensity is a time dependent variable.

What is intense for 30 seconds is not the same as what is intense for 3 minutes, which are both not the same as what is intense for 10 minutes. More aerobically talented people naturally work closer to a mile paced like the first instructions with linear pacing. Likely, in their beginning years they actually don’t have access to the power that is required to push through their anaerobic threshold and so are always praised for working hard and being able to repeat efforts. Whereas someone with a more powerful energy system profile (even if they are weak and just have low aerobic potential) need to build volume at less hard intensities over long periods of time to be able to improve long term. If you ask someone who has a very large discrepancy between their maximal work rate and their maximal aerobic work rate, then telling them to ‘GO HARDER’ is likely a recipe for killing their long-term training progress if you intend to improve their long term fitness.

There are many people in the market that have this low intensity higher volume training need. It’s hard for some of them to accept because they are also weak and not explosive. So learning to suffer well becomes a mark of valor for people with nothing exceptional they can do with their bodies. Training people like this towards pain therefore does not lead to progress and in fact challenges their low resilience bodies to adapt to even greater levels of stress. I do believe we should work towards creating more ‘intensity’ in training. In order to create more intensity for people we MUST be striving for progression, not pain.

That long term progression is laid on a foundation of optimal movement, a polarized distribution of energy system work much of which comes in low intensity format and a small amount in the ‘pain zone’, structural integrity, proper nutritional fueling as opposed to aesthetic management, and a long term plan. The seeking of pain as a form of intensity will create shorter term results that people like, but longer term damage from which one cannot recover. I’ve met with high level athletes in the sport who are broken beyond repair, dealing with injuries 24/7, and never going to reach their potential because of their stubbornness to constantly think they can do more and go harder. This is a recipe for disaster in almost every field and the human body is no exception. Our adaptations at the elite levels of performance take a long time to develop and you must be patient if you expect to improve long term.

For some strange reason in the human condition, it is easy to become addicted to pain. People can get trapped in abusive relationships, enjoy the pleasure of cutting oneself, or get sexually aroused by the sensation of pain. It doesn’t surprise me then that there is a tremendous desire to hold on to the concept that one must be on the verge of death in their training to succeed. I’ve had so many conversations with people where they justified to me all of their training past practices in spite of their empirical data showing clearly that they have stopped getting closer to their goals. Letting go of this unhealthy relationship with training pain and understanding when you should be suffering, when you should be mastering a skill, when you should be going lighter, and when you should be operating at low intensities is the key to long-term progress.

The best athletes in the world have this intuitive understanding, but sometimes are paid to say different things OR are unaware of their own superior physical intuition. If you are someone who is constantly tired, constantly in joint pain, barely making PRs anymore, and emotionally burnt out from your training load, it’s probably time to upgrade your understanding of pain and energy system development. Internalizing the negative mind state that causes you to suffer will likely turn into you loathing your time in the gym or being dependent on something that does nothing but cause you to break down and move backwards in the gym. Pain is something you should use with caution as a way to increase intensity over time, not something you should walk around with as a badge of honor to give you a sense of accomplishment to support your ego. Be tough, not dumb!

Max El-Hag

Founder  |  Training Think Tank

Live and Learn.  We All Do.

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It Is Time To Ask The Hard Questions For The Sake Of Our Children.


I read with great interest the recent ‘measles epidemic’ articles that addressed the vaccine debate from the point of view of a cancer parent. My interest is the result of being a cancer parent myself – my little girl has been battling leukemia on and off for the past 10 years. I read these articles, and I became angry. Very, very angry. Once again, the government and drug companies are exploiting the plight of children stricken by cancer to achieve a profit-driven end without actually helping them. In fact, this profitable end could cause great harm, even increasing the rates of pediatric leukemia, if their obvious goal of a federally mandated vaccination protocol is achieved. I am a seasoned Momcologist, a term the research-driven cancer parents call themselves.  We are the cancer equivalent of  Thinking Moms, critical thinkers. I have done extensive reading on the etiology of leukemia, its connection to autoimmune disease, and how vaccines and natural disease may influence these sorts of childhood illnesses. Come connect the dots with me.

Clearly, I empathize with the raw fear the parents in these articles have that their immunocompromised children may contract an illness that could be devastating. I have walked for years in their shoes. I get it. However, the parents in these articles are either grossly misinformed, or their comments have been edited with bias. Let’s get some facts straight about cancer treatment and infection. One of the first things we were warned about after my daughter’s diagnosis was live-virus vaccination. No one in the family was to receive a live-virus vaccine while my daughter was on treatment because these viruses canand do shed (1, 2, 3, 4), some for as much as four weeks (5), potentially infecting the immunocompromised patient with disastrous results. That includes the measles vaccine  (MMR II and ProQuad), the intranasal flu vaccine, and the chicken pox shot. In fact, my other children were able to get medical waivers not to receive vaccines because of my daughter’s illness. I know my child is much more likely to encounter a peer at school who has been recently vaccinated with a live-virus vaccine than she is to encounter natural disease from an unvaccinated child.

st. judesIf my child were at a stage of treatment in which she was very immunocompromised, she would not be in school. My daughter missed most of fourth grade and a good portion of fifth, not because she was so sick, but because others were sick. Despite a nearly 100% vaccine compliance rate at our school, there were regular outbreaks of shingles, occurring after chicken pox vaccine boosters, influenza and other illnesses. Please note that, even in areas in which vaccine compliance is extremely high, there are still outbreaks of disease that are not caused by the unvaccinated (6).

The most deadly threats for a child during intensive cancer treatment lie right within his or her own body. Immunocompromised pediatric cancer patients are far more likely to die from opportunistic infections that originate from overgrowths of fungi, mold and bacteria(7) than they are from vaccine-related viral infections.  When I searched to find the last recorded incidence of a child dying of measles (because that is the hated disease du jour) while undergoing cancer treatment, well, I couldn’t find one.  I did, however, find at least one death in the immunocompromised from the measles vaccine (8), with no indication of when it or they occurred. There hasn’t been a recorded death in the U.S. from measles in the past 10 years. (9) In fact, measles infection may actually be curativeof some blood cancers (10, 11), presumably by initiating normal immune system defenses.  The measles virus as an actual treatment has also been explored in other malignancies (12, 13).

There is evidence that the “hygiene theory” of the immune system may have some relevance to to vaccines. It has been found that more “hygienic” populations, i.e. kids who have had fewer exposures to everyday germs, are at higher risk for some illnesses. The idea being that the immune system needs to “learn” how to respond appropriately by coming in contact with common bugs in order to develop properly.  Industrialized countries that have a decrease in infectious burden over less developed nations nevertheless show an increase in allergies and autoimmune disease.  “The leading idea is that some infectious agents — notably those that co-evolved with us — are able to protect us against a large spectrum of immune-related disorders.” (14) Are we trading benign, transient illnesses that were once considered normal childhood rites of passage, illnesses that appear to be protective for more serious disease, for a lifetime of chronic illness, even death?

A discussion of the peculiarities of leukemia is in order, its relationship to the immune system, and the idea that vaccines can act as a possible trigger for the cancer itself. Leukemia begins with the development of immature white blood cells in the bone marrow, when one of these baby white blood cells mutates into an abnormal, leukemic cell. The more actively the body produces white blood cells (which are infection-fighting cells), therefore, the higher the risk of mutation. This is the explanation given for  increases in the incidence of leukemia after a flu virus passes through an area (15), and why children who exhibit hyper-stimulated immune responses in the form of asthma and eczema alsohave increased risk for leukemia (16). It may seem contradictory to discuss infection as a preventative for leukemia when applying the hygiene hypothesis, while also pointing to infection as a cause.  It’s apparently all about the maturity and status of the immune system.  “Timing is critical, as early infections are likely to positively modulate the immune system thereby reducing risk of leukemia, whereas later infections in children whose immune system was less well modulated may increase such risk.” (17)

N0009927 Photomicrograph; acute lymphocytic leukaemiaTime to stop and connect more dots.  What are American children exposed to that deliberately hyper-stimulate the immune system? Vaccines. Our children are subjected to an incredibly aggressive vaccine schedule, the likes of which no other country sees, from the day they are born (and we have the highest first-day infant death rate of any first-world country, by the way) (18). Could we actually be triggering leukemia, the most common form of childhood cancer, with these vaccines? Particularly when we give them to children who already show signs of abnormal immune response?

Vaccines are not calibrated by weight or age or health-risk factors; potency levels of vaccines are standardized (19), which may cause hyper-stimulation for a child with a highly sensitive immune system.  Isn’t it interesting that less industrial countries have lower rates of autoimmune disease,  yet when those kids come to industrialized countries, in one generation they match our rates? (20) Could this possibly be related to the fact that these immigrants are required to submit to more aggressive vaccine schedules?

Acute lymphocytic leukemia is also less common in third-world countries, despite their children’s otherwise more debilitated state.  Children in industrialized nations experience a sharp rise in leukemia between two and six years of the age, the vaccine years, which does not occur in less developed nations. (21)

It is so very obvious that this potential connection requires exploration, yet the only studies to be found merely compare leukemia in more vaccinated to less vaccinated kids. The data from children who are completely unvaccinated is critical in uncovering the true reality of overall pediatric health.  We may very well find many interesting discoveries. Read this study from Germany (22), for example, which shows less acute and serious chronic illness overall for unvaccinated children, though they did not include childhood cancer. Why are we merely chasing a cure when a likely cause is sitting right under our noses?

One word: Profit. As of 1988, vaccine makers and the doctors who administer vaccines bear no liability for vaccine injury (23). They cannot be held accountable by law for adverse events from vaccination. In fact, the entire adverse event reporting system (VAERS) is voluntary! This means that the more aggressive our vaccine schedule, the more profitable it is for vaccine makers. But what about the Centers for Disease Control, don’t they direct the vaccines our children really need? Please note that the CDC uses worldwide disease data to formulate our policies, which makes no sense at all. How could one possibly compare a malnourished child living in unsanitary conditions and subsequently exposed to illness to a child exposed to that same illness in a first-world country? I invite parents to take a look at the resumes of some of the heads of pharmaceutical companies and members of the CDC like this one (24). One can very clearly see those in charge of vaccine policy have a dangerous conflict of interest with those who profit from that policy. Remember, pharmaceutical companies contributed $34 million dollars in campaign funds in 2014  (25). It would behoove anyone attempting office these days to err on the side of ‘big pharma.’

Jean's daughter 2I must add additional comment about parental trust in the government as it concerns our cancer kids.  Once parents recover from a cancer diagnosis, they have a strong desire to  help their children – to participate in activism in some way.  It is then they discover a disturbing reality about the state of pediatric cancer research and funding: In a united front, the major cancer fundraising organizations, our government, and the pharmaceutical industry ignore pediatric cancer. Why? First, kids don’t vote.  Second, kids don’t get cancer in rates high enough to warrant good profit returns. There has not been a novel drug developed for the treatment of acute lymphocytic leukemia, the most common childhood cancer, in 20 years (26). Oncologists are forced to use the same horridly harmful chemotherapy and radiation; the only variability in protocols is in the combinations, dosages and timing of the same archaic drugs. And while ‘cure’ rates have increased, childhood cancer incidence is still on the rise (27).  Over and over again, however, these organizations will exploit the pitiful stories and pictures of our kids to tug heartstrings and solicit funding.  The National Cancer Institute directs a pittance (4%) at pediatric cancer research versus other, more common and profitable, cancers (28).  When  will health research be directed by the needs of the people rather than the greed of corporations?

If any parent wants their child to be safe from preventable illness, it is a cancer parent. Yet I also stand with scores of cancer parents who have seen their children become stricken with leukemia shortly after vaccination.  My little girl?  She was diagnosed with leukemia shortly after her pediatrician “caught her up” on her shots almost 10 years ago.  That “catch up” schedule matches the regular schedule for a toddler today.  Unfortunately, it is nearly impossible to untangle true childhood cancer statistics or ‘cure’ (as in survival) rates (29).  The SEER database includes only five states and ten cities in the U.S., and one cannot readily backtrack to the time before the mad rush of vaccines. (30)

It is time to ask the hard questions for the sake of our children.  Are we actually causing leukemia and other childhood illnesses with these vaccines?  Could we even preventleukemia by allowing natural disease?  The current measles “scare” is clearly a push for a federally mandated vaccine program.  Measles is highly contagious, yes, but benign (even potentially helpful) for the vast majority in a first-world country. If the current vaccine schedule could be harming our children, what will happen when pharmaceutical companies are given carte blanche?  Do we really want to relinquish our parental rights to a government that has shown itself to be both corrupt and callous in their treatment of our cancer kids?  What data is critical to either prove, or disprove, the hypothesis that vaccines can lead to increased chronic disease, particularly those related to the immune system like leukemia?  An independent study of the overall health of vaccinated versus unvaccinated children must be undertaken.  It is past time to finish connecting the dots to reveal the true picture of vaccines and childhood cancer.   Though it is too late for my vaccine-injured daughter, this Momcologist stands against vaccine mandates, for the health of future children.

~ Jean Ghantous

About the author:  Jean Ghantous is a wife and mother of three with a background in science, who formerly held a position with a pharmaceutical company as a research specialist. She has been a Momcologist for the past 10 years, since her daughter was diagnosed with high-risk pre-B cell acute lymphocytic leukemia as a toddler. After three years of treatment, the family enjoyed years of remission until her daughter was again diagnosed with a very late relapse at nine years old. She is currently in remission and doing well.

Jean’s penchant for research led to the important discovery that transfusional iron overload had been a long-overlooked high-risk factor for adverse late effects in cancer children. “Oncologists are so focused on treatment protocols that preventative care has been neglected, universally,” said Jean. “I realized within the first 10 minutes of researching iron overload that not only did my daughter have a very grave problem, but many kids, over many years, were at risk as well. I was horrified to read the list of side effects of iron toxicity; it was eerily similar to the late effects one is told to expect from chemotherapy.” Jean pushed for treatment and preventative care. She said “No one addressed iron overload because, well, no one had NOTICED it. For decades of cancer treatment.” This led to her hospital implementing a computerized tracking program for transfusional iron deposition and its involvement in a nationwide strategy for reducing risk from iron toxicity in children with cancer.

While Jean had always been suspicious that vaccines could play a role in the development of leukemia, she was told her daughter’s diagnosis after aggressive vaccination was “coincidence.” After her third child also sustained a vaccine injury, Jean took on the additional descriptor of Thinking Mom and became more actively involved in advocating for vaccine safety. “It is abundantly clear to any parent who takes the time to do the research that there is a very real causative connection between immune system disorders, chronic disease and vaccines,” warns Jean. “American kids are sick, really sick. EpiPens, inhalers, glucometers, special diets and special-needs teachers have become normalized in our schools. Four children in my neighborhood have been granted Make-A-Wish trips for life-threatening illness. One-third of my son’s class is in need of special-needs educational support. This is NOT normal. We MUST stop this insane, profit-driven push for federal vaccine mandates. Clearly, our families’ futures depend on it.”
References

1) “Detection of Measles Virus RNA in Urine Specimens from Vaccine Recipients,” http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC228449/

2) “ Vaccine Oka Varicella-Zoster Virus Genotypes Are Monomorphic in Single Vesicles and Polymorphic in Respiratory Tract Secretions,” http://jid.oxfordjournals.org/content/193/7/927.full

 3) MMR II vaccine insert: “Excretion of small amounts of the live attenuated rubella virus from the nose or throat has occurred in the majority of susceptible individuals 7 to 28 days after vaccination.” http://www.merck.com/product/usa/pi_circulars/m/mmr_ii/mmr_ii_pi.pdf

4) “Chickenpox Attributable to a Vaccine Virus Contracted From a Vaccine With Zoster,” http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/106/2/e28.full

5) FluMist vaccine insert: “FluMist contains live attenuated influenza viruses that must infect and replicate in cells lining the nasopharynx of the recipient to induce immunity. Vaccine viruses capable of infection and replication can be cultured from nasal secretions obtained from vaccine recipients (shedding).” Study showed shedding up to 28 days post vaccination: http://www.medimmune.com/docs/default-source/pdfs/flumist_pi.pdf

6) “Influenza Outbreak in a Vaccinated Population — USS Ardent, February 2014,” http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm6342a3.htm?mobile=nocontent

7) “Infections in the Neutropenic Patient— New Views of an Old Problem:,” http://asheducationbook.hematologylibrary.org/content/2001/1/113.full

8) MMR II vaccine insert: “Measles inclusion body encephalitis{44} (MIBE), pneumonitis{45} and death as a direct consequence of disseminated measles vaccine virus infection have been reported in immunocompromised individuals inadvertently vaccinated with measles-containing vaccine.” http://www.merck.com/product/usa/pi_circulars/m/mmr_ii/mmr_ii_pi.pdf

9) “There has been no measles deaths reported in the U.S. since 2003,” Dr. Anne Schuchat, the director of CDC’s National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases. (Apparently, the veracity of this statement is in question, as CDC data for 2009 and 2010 both list two measles deaths, leading one to wonder why does the director of CDC’s National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases not seem to know about them?  Don’t you think given the current hoopla about an outbreak with no associated deaths that they would be screaming about them?  Could it be that they were in immunocompromised people who got the disease either from the vaccine or from recently vaccinated people?)  http://vaccineimpact.com/2015/zero-u-s-measles-deaths-in-10-years-but-over-100-measles-vaccine-deaths-reported/

10) Bluming A, Ziegler J. “Regression of Burkitt’s lymphoma in association with measles infection.” The Lancet. 1971 Jul 10;:105–106.

11) “Remission of Disseminated Cancer after Systemic Oncolytic Virotherapy,” http://www.mayoclinicproceedings.org/article/S0025-6196(14)00332-2/fulltext

12) “Measles Virus for Cancer Therapy,” http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3926122/

13) Liu TC, Galanis E, Kirn D. “Clinical Trial Results with Oncolytic Virotherapy: A Century of Promise, a Decade of Progress.” Nat Clin Pract Oncol. 2007;4(2):101–117. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17259931

14) Hygiene hypothesis: “In countries where good health standards do not exist, people are chronically infected by those various pathogens. In those countries, the prevalence of allergic diseases remains low. Interestingly, several countries that have eradicated those common infections see the emergence of allergic and autoimmune diseases.”

“The ‘Hygiene Hypothesis’ for Autoimmune and Allergic Diseases: An Update,” http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2841828/

15) “Childhood Leukemia Incidence in Britain, 1974–2000: Time Trends and Possible Relation to Influenza Epidemics,” http://jnci.oxfordjournals.org/content/98/6/417.full.pdf+html?sid=b366f430-37bb-49a4-b9b0-794149a1d2da

16) “Allergic Conditions and Risk of Hematological Malignancies in Adults: A Cohort Study,” http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2458/4/51

17) “Timing is critical, as early infections are likely to positively modulate the immune system thereby reducing risk of leukemia, whereas later infections in children whose immune system was less well modulated may increase such risk.”

“Infection and Pediatric Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia,” http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2834409/

18) U.S. highest first-day infant mortality of industrialized nations: “6 Articles You Should Read about Infant Mortality in the U.S” http://america.aljazeera.com/watch/shows/fault-lines/FaultLinesBlog/2013/9/19/america-s-infantmortalitycrisisbackgroundreading.html

19) “Potency Tests of Combination Vaccines,” http://cid.oxfordjournals.org/content/33/Supplement_4/S362.full

20) “The ‘Hygiene Hypothesis’ for Autoimmune and Allergic Diseases: An Update,” http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2841828/

21) “An Infectious Aetiology for Childhood Acute Leukaemia: A Review of the Evidence.” http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15491284. Sharp peak in ALL diagnoses in developed countries between 2 and 6 years; early infection could be protective.

22) German study on the health of vaccinated versus unvaccinated children: http://healthimpactnews.com/2011/new-study-vaccinated-children-have-2-to-5-times-more-diseases-and-disorders-than-unvaccinated-children/

23) Vaccine Liability removed: http://www.nvic.org/NVIC-Vaccine-News/March-2011/No-Pharma-Liability–No-Vaccine-Mandates-.aspx#a1

24) Julie Gerberding: “Merck Announces Appointment of Dr. Julie Gerberding as Executive Vice President for Strategic Communications, Global Public Policy and Population Health,” http://www.mercknewsroom.com/news-release/corporatenews/merck-announces-appointment-dr-julie-gerberding-executive-vice-president

25) Pharmaceutical campaign contributions 2014: “Pharmaceuticals/Health Products: Long-Term Contribution Trends,” http://www.opensecrets.org/industries/totals.php?cycle=2014&ind=H04

26) “Little Patients, Losing Patience: Pediatric Cancer Drug Development,” http://mct.aacrjournals.org/content/5/8/1905.full

27) Childhood and Adolescent Cancer Statistics, 2014: http://acco.org/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=gAi0ji8IFPU%3d&tabid=670

28) National Cancer Institute gives 4% to pediatric cancer research: http://acco.org/Information/AboutChildhoodCancer/ChildhoodCancerStatistics.aspx

29) “Because Statistics Don’t Tell the Whole Story: A Call for Comprehensive Care for Children With Cancer,” http://acco.org/LinClick.aspx?fileticket=9egsDtJw3fw%3d&tabid=670

30) SEER database: http://seer.cancer.gov/csr/1975_2011/results_merged/sect_29_childhood_cancer_iccc.pdf

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Why it’s Crucial for Women to Heal the Mother Wound


What many people do not realize is that the core issue at the center of women’s empowerment is the mother wound.

ElizabethBauman

Difficulty and challenges between mothers and daughters are rampant and widespread but not openly spoken about. The taboo about speaking about the pain of the mother wound is what keeps it in place and keeps it hidden in shadow, festering and out of view.

What exactly is the mother wound?

The mother wound is the pain of being a woman passed down through generations of women in patriarchal cultures. And it includes the dysfunctional coping mechanisms that are used to process that pain.

The mother wound includes the pain of: 

  • Comparison: not feeling good enough
  • Shame: consistent background sense that there is something wrong with you
  • Attenuation: Feeling you must remain small in order to be loved
  • Persistent sense of guilt for wanting more than you currently have

The mother wound can manifest as:

  • Not being your full self  because you don’t want to threaten others
  • Having a high tolerance for poor treatment from others
  • Emotional care-taking
  • Feeling competitive with other women
  • Self-sabotage
  • Being overly rigid and dominating
  • Conditions such as eating disorders, depression and addictions

untitled by fatma gultekin

In our patriarchal, male-dominated culture women are conditioned to think of themselves as “less-than” and not deserving or worthy. This feeling of “less-than” has been internalized and passed down through countless generations of women.

The cultural atmosphere of female oppression puts daughters in a “double bind.”

Simply put, if a daughter internalizes her mother’s unconscious beliefs (which is some subtle form of “I’m not good enough”) then she has her mother’s approval but has in some way betrayed herself and her potential.

However, if she doesn’t internalize her mother’s unconscious beliefs in her own limitations but rather affirms her own power and potential, she is aware that her mother may unconsciously see this as a personal rejection.

The daughter doesn’t want to risk losing her mother’s love and approval,  so internalizing these limiting, unconscious beliefs is a form of loyalty and emotional survival for the daughter.

It may feel dangerous for a woman to actualize her full potential because it may mean risking some form of rejection by her mother.

Mother and daughter USA 1956  Photo- Leonard Freed

This is because the daughter may unconsciously sense that her full empowerment may trigger the mother’s sadness or rage at having had to give up parts of herself in her own life. Her compassion for her mother, a desire to please her, and a fear of conflict may cause her to convince herself that it’s safer to shrink and remain small.

A common objection to facing the mother wound is to “Let the past be in the past.” However, we never truly “escape” or bury the past. It lives in the present as the obstacles and challenges that we face every day. If we avoid dealing with the pain associated with one of THE most primary and foundational relationships in our lives, we are missing a pivotal opportunity to discover the truth of who we are and to authentically and joyfully live that truth.

Stereotypes that perpetuate the mother wound:

  • “Look at everything your mother did for you!” (from other people)
  • “My mother sacrificed so much for me. I would be so selfish to do what she could not do. I don’t want to make her feel bad.”
  • “I owe loyalty to my mother no matter what. If I upset her, she will think I don’t value her.”

The daughter may experience fears about fulfilling her potential because she may fear leaving her mother behind. She may fear her mother feeling threatened by her dreams or ambitions. She may fear uncomfortable feelings from her mother such as envy or anger. All of this is usually very unconscious and not openly acknowledged or talked about.

We all have sensed the pain that our mothers carry. And all of us are suspicious to some degree that we are partly to blame for her pain. Therein lies the guilt. This makes sense when considering the limited cognitive development of a child, which sees itself as the cause of all things. If we don’t address this unconscious belief as an adult, we may still be walking around with it and greatly limiting ourselves as a result.

The truth is that no child can save her mother.

No sacrifice a daughter makes  will ever be enough to compensate for the high price her mother may have had to pay or for the losses she has accrued over the years, simply by being a woman and mother in this culture. And yet, this is what many women do for their mothers very early on in childhood: they unconsciously make a decision to not abandon or betray their mothers by becoming “too successful,” “too smart” or “too adventurous.” This decision is made out of love, loyalty and a true need for approval and emotional support from the mother.

Many of us confuse being loyal to our mothers with being loyal to their wounds, and thus, complicit in our own oppression. 

kellie hatcher

These dynamics are very unconscious and they operate on a continuum. Even the most healthy, supportive mother/daughter relationships may have this dynamic to some degree by virtue of simply being women in this society. And for daughters who have mothers with serious issues (addictions, mental illness, etc.) the impact is can be very damaging and insidious.

Mothers must take responsibility and grieve their losses. 

Being a mother in our society is unspeakably difficult. I’ve heard many women say “No one ever tells you how hard it is” and “Nothing prepares you for when you get home with the baby and realize what is being asked of you.” Our culture, especially the U.S., is very hard on mothers, offering little support and many are raising children alone.

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 Our society’s unspoken messages to mothers: 

  • If motherhood is difficult then it’s your own fault.
  • Shame on you if you’re not super-human.
  • There are “natural mothers” for whom motherhood is easy. If you are not one of these, there is something deeply wrong with you.
  • You’re supposed to be capable of handling it all with ease: having well-behaved children, being sexually attractive, having a successful career, and a solid marriage.

For mothers who have indeed sacrificed so much to have children in our culture, it can truly feel like a rejection when your child surpasses or exceeds the dreams you thought possible for yourself. There may be a sense of feeling owed, entitled to or needing to be validated by your children, which can be a very subtle but powerful manipulation. This dynamic can cause the next generation of daughters to keep themselves small so that their mothers can continue to feel validated and affirmed in their identity as a mother, an identity that many have sacrificed so much for, but received so little support and recognition for in return.

Mothers may unconsciously project deep rage towards their children in subtle ways. However, the rage really isn’t towards the children. The rage is towards the patriarchal society that requires women to sacrifice and utterly deplete themselves in order to mother a child.

And for a child who needs her mother, sacrificing herself in an effort to somehow ease her mother’s pain is often a subconscious decision made very early in life and not discovered as the cause of underlying issues until much later when she is an adult.

The mother wound exists because there is not a safe place for mothers to process their rage about the sacrifices that society has demanded of them. And because daughters still unconsciously fear rejection for choosing not to make those same sacrifices as previous generations.

In our society, there is no safe place for a mother to vent her rage. And so often it comes out unconsciously to one’s children. A daughter is a very potent target for a mother’s rage because the daughter has not yet had to give up her personhood for motherhood. The young daughter may remind the mother of her un-lived potential. And if the daughter feels worthy enough to reject some of the patriarchal mandates that the mother has had to swallow, then she can easily trigger that underground rage for the mother.

Matt Wisniewski

Of course, most mothers want what is best for their daughters. However, if a mother has not dealt with her own pain or come to terms with the sacrifices she has had to make, than her support for her daughter may be laced with traces of messages that subtly instill shame, guilt or obligation. They can seep out in the most benign situations, usually in some form of criticism or some form of bringing praise back to the mother. It’s not usually the content of the statement, but rather the energy with which it is conveyed that can carry hidden resentment.

The way for a mother to prevent directing her rage to her daughter and passing down the mother wound, is for the mother to fully grieve and mourn her own losses. And to make sure that she is not relying on her daughter as her main source of emotional support.

Mothers must mourn what they had to give up, what they wanted but will never have, what their children can never give them and the injustice of their situation. However, as unjust and unfair as it is, it is not the responsibility of the daughter to make amends for the mother’s losses or to feel obligated to sacrifice herself in the same ways. For mothers, It takes tremendous strength and integrity to do this. And mothers need support in this process.

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Mothers liberate their daughters when they consciously process their own pain without making it their daughter’s problem. In this way, mothers free their daughters to pursue their dreams without guilt, shame or a sense of obligation.

When mothers unwittingly cause their daughters to feel responsible for their losses and to share in their pain, it creates a dysfunctional enmeshment, reinforcing the daughter’s view that she is not worthy of her dreams.  And this supports a daughter’s view that her mother’s pain must somehow be her fault. This can cripple her in so many ways.

For daughters growing up in a patriarchal culture, there is a sense of having to choose between being empowered and being loved.

Darian Blake

Most daughters choose to be loved instead of empowered because there is an ominous sense that being fully actualized and empowered may cause a grave loss of love from important people in their lives, specifically their mothers. So women stay small and un-fulfilled, unconsciously passing the mother wound to the next generation.

As a woman, there is a vague but powerful sense that your empowerment will injure your relationships. And women are taught to value relationships over everything else. We cling to the crumbs of our relationships, while our souls may be deeply longing for the fulfillment of our potential. But the truth is that our relationships alone can never adequately substitute for the hunger to live our lives fully.

The power dynamic at the center of the mother/daughter relationship is a taboo subject and the core issue at the center of the mother wound.  

Much of this goes underground because of the many taboos and stereotypes about motherhood in this culture:

  • Mothers are always nurturing and loving
  • Mothers should never feel angry or resentful towards their daughters
  • Mothers and daughters are supposed to be best friends

The stereotype of “All mothers should be loving all the time” strips women of their full humanity. Because women are not given permission to be full human beings, society feels justified in not providing full respect, support and resources to mothers.

The truth is that mothers are human beings and all mothers having un-loving moments. And it’s true that there are mothers who are simply un-loving most of the time, whether because of addiction, mental illness or other struggles. Until we are willing to face these uncomfortable realities the mother wound will be in shadow and continue to be passed through the generations.

We all have patriarchy in us to some degree. We’ve had to ingest it to survive in this culture. When we’re ready to confront it fully in ourselves, we also confront it in others, including our mothers. This can be one of the most heart-wrenching of all situations we must face. But unless we are willing to go there, to address the mother wound, we are paying a very high price for the illusion of peace and empowerment.

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What is the cost of not healing the mother wound?

The cost of not healing the mother wound is living your life indefinitely with:

  • A vague, persistent sense that “There’s something wrong with me”
  • Never actualizing your potential out of fear of failure or disapproval
  • Having weak boundaries and an unclear sense of who you are
  • Not feeling worthy or capable of creating what you truly desire
  • Not feeling safe enough to take up space and voice your truth
  • Arranging your life around “not rocking the boat”
  • Self-sabotage when you get close to a breakthrough
  • Unconsciously waiting for mother’s permission or approval before claiming your own life.

What’s the relationship between the mother wound and the divine feminine?

There’s a lot of talk these days about ’embodying the divine feminine’ and being an ‘awakened woman.’ But the reality is that we cannot be a strong container of the power of the divine feminine if we have not yet addressed the places within us where we have felt banished and in exile from the Feminine.

Let’s face it: Our first enounter with the Goddess was with our mothers. Until we have the courage to break the taboo and face the pain we have experienced in relation to our mothers, the divine feminine is another form of a fairy tale, a fantasy of rescue by a mother who is not coming. This keeps us in spiritual immaturity. We have to separate the human mother from the archetype in order to be true carriers of this energy. We have to de-construct the faulty structures within us before we can truly build new structures to hold it. Until we do this we remain stuck in a kind of limbo where our empowerment is short-lived and the only explanation for our predicament that seems to make sense is to blame ourselves.

If we avoid acknowledging the full impact of our mother’s pain on our lives, we still remain to some degree, children.

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Coming into full empowerment requires looking at our relationship with our mothers and having the courage to separate out our own individual beliefs, values, thoughts from hers. It requires feeling the grief of having to witness the pain our mothers endured and processing our own legitimate pain that we endured as a result. This is so challenging but it is the beginning of real freedom.

Once we feel the pain it can be transformed and it will cease creating obstacles in our lives.

So what happens when women heal the mother wound?

iza & mary by gosia janik

As we heal the mother wound, the power dynamic is increasingly resolved because women are no longer asking one another to stay small to ease their own pain. The pain of living in patriarchy ceases to be taboo. We don’t have to pretend and hide behind false masks that hide our pain under a facade of effortlessly holding it together. The pain can then be seen as legitimate, embraced, processed and integrated and ultimately transformed into wisdom and power.

Once women increasingly process the pain of the mother wound, we can create safe places for women to express the truth of their pain and receive much needed support. Mothers and daughters can communicate with one another without fear that the truth of their feelings will break their relationship. The pain no longer needs to go underground and into shadow, where it manifests as manipulation, competition and self-hatred. Our pain can be grieved fully so that it can then turn into love, a love that manifests as fierce support of one another and deep self-acceptance, freeing us to be boldly authentic, creative and truly fulfilled.

Via Mariana Suemi Hamaguchi

When we heal the mother wound, we begin to grasp the stunning degree of impact a mother’s well-being has on the life of her child, especially in early childhood when the child and mother are still a single unit. Our mothers form the very basis of who we become: our beliefs start out as her beliefs, our habits start out as her habits. Some of this is so unconscious and fundamental, it is barely perceptible.

The mother wound is ultimately not about your mother. It’s about embracing yourself and your gifts without shame.

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We address the mother wound because it is a critical part of self-actualization and saying YES to being the powerful and potent women that we are being called to become. Healing the mother wound is ultimately about acknowledging and honoring the foundation our mothers provided for our lives so that we can then fully focus on creating the unique lives that we authentically desire and know we are capable of creating.

Benefits of healing the mother wound:

  • Being more fluent and skilled in handling your emotions. Seeing them as a source of wisdom and information.
  • Having healthy boundaries that support the actualization of your highest and best self
  • Developing a solid “inner mother” that provides unconditional love, support and comfort to your younger parts.
  • Knowing yourself as competent. Feeling that anything is possible, open to miracles and all good things
  • Being in constant contact with your inner goodness and your ability to bring it into everything you do
  • Deep compassion for yourself and other people
  • Not taking yourself too seriously. No longer needing external validation to feel OK. Not needing to prove yourself to others.
  • Trusting life to bring you what you need
  • Feeling safe in your own skin and a freedom to be yourself.
  • So much more…

As we engage in this healing process, we slowly remove the thick fog of projection that keeps us stuck and can more clearly see, appreciate and love ourselves. We no longer carry the burden of our mother’s pain and keep ourselves small as a result.

We can confidently emerge into our own lives, with the energy and vitality to create what we desire without shame or guilt, but with passion, power, joy, confidence, and love.

When The Rain Comes In Silence by Burçin Esin

For every human being, the very first wound of the heart was at the site of the mother, the feminine. And through the process of healing that wound, our hearts graduate from a compromised state of defensiveness and fear to a whole new level of love and power, which connects us to the divine heart of Life itself. We are from then on connected to the archetypal, collective heart that lives in all beings, and are carriers and transmitters of true compassion and love that the world needs right now. In this way, the mother wound is actually an opportunity and an initiation into the divine feminine. This is why it’s so crucial for women to heal the mother wound: Your personal healing and re-connection to the heart of life, by way of the feminine, affects the whole and supports our collective evolution.

(art credits in order of appearance: Elizabeth Bauman, Fatma Gultekin, Leonard Freed, Kellie Hatcher, stock photo, Matt Wisniewski, sock photo, Darian Blake, stock photo, stock photo, Gosia Janik, Via Mariana Suemi Hamaguchi, stock photo, Burçin Esin)

© Bethany Webster 2013

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